1. Take that first, bold step

There’s a lot of talk in church about waiting on God to send us the right partner. Many times, well-meaning people told me God had already ear-marked my future husband, ready to be delivered to me at the appointed time. However, real life rarely works like that. In reality, the more people you meet, the higher your chances of meeting a future spouse – so we should be taking steps to meet lots of suitable singles. Online dating is one way to do that, and now’s the perfect time to get started. Dating websites get their biggest number of new subscribers at the start of the year, so there are plenty of eager cyberdaters to meet and chat to.

2. Be proactive

It’s not enough to upload your profile, sit back and wait for the offers to drop into your inbox. As with most things in life, you get out what you put in. So send messages and waves, reply to people even if you don’t think they’re your ‘type’, and be active on the discussion boards. You’re unlikely to hit the jackpot on your first, or even tenth, date – so set yourself targets to contact at least three new people a week, and arrange at least one date a month (more would be better).

3. Meet up quickly

It’s tempting to chat online for ages before arranging a real life meeting. After all, you want to be sure before you make that leap, right? Wrong! Research shows that in most successful relationships that start online, the couple met within two weeks of initial contact. It makes sense – you can only find out in person if you have any attraction, and waiting too long puts a lot of pressure on you both when you finally meet. So if possible, meet quickly (but always take safety precautions until you know the person well).

4. Refresh your profile – and your approach

If things aren’t going well for you online, now is a good time to take a fresh look at your profile: is it too long, too short, too negative, too trite? What about your photos: could they do with being clearer, more smiley, less posed? You might also want to reconsider your approach to others. Do you message people indiscriminately, demonstrating no interest in them as a person? People who sent me cut-and-paste messages and clearly hadn’t read my profile weren’t taken seriously. Try to view your online presence as others do. Maybe ask a friend for their honest opinion, too.

5. Look outside ‘your type’

You’d be surprised how many happy marriages are between people who weren’t initially interested in each other because the other person wasn’t their ‘type’. Yes, you may like tall, blond(e) intellectuals, but you might find great happiness with a short, brunette practical type! So keep an open mind. That also includes people from other denominations. Good character and expressing the fruits of the spirit matter in a relationship; styles of worship or types of prayer often prove less important. Many marriages between people of different faith traditions thrive and bring new richness to each other’s Christian walks.