Author Archives: Cathy Patterson-Sterling

Have you ever had a goal or wanted a desired outcome in a situation so bad that you could feel yourself ache inside? Then you poured yourself into prayer hoping and waiting for the fulfillment of blessings or for your circumstances to turn in your favor. Perhaps you are single hoping and praying for God to bring you your partner in life or you are wishing for a change in career goals or expanded opportunities. Over time, we can wait and in some instances actually feel like we are even further away from our desired outcome. We have hit an emotional roadblock and are stuck. Nothing is shifting or moving. The reality is that we are likely on a learning detour on our road to blessings.

I have often looked back at failed relationships and wondered how I could have ever really trusted the people I have dated in the past. If there were obvious red flags and warning signs, I had clearly missed them, because I sat multiple times on the edge of an absolute train wreck of a relationship. Now that I have been married more than 13 years, I have learned to see some important signs around whether people are trustworthy or not. Back then, I wish someone had come along and shared these same signs with me.

Have you ever felt like you were waiting to get on with life? Many people live their lives according to a “happy when…” formula. This means they are waiting to “become happy” as details fall into place in their lives around the fulfillment of their heart’s desires. For example, they will be happy WHEN they get that new job, a new love, a new opportunity or more.

Soul mates.

We hear a lot about finding that person who was prepared by God. We call him or her our “soul mate.” You won’t actually have a soul mate until you’ve mated another soul. Once you’ve married, you have found your soul mate. Until then you are looking for the person you’d like to make your soul mate.

I hadn’t realized it, but my dates were becoming a job interview. I was on rapid fire with interrogating questions, evaluating whether the person across from me at the dinner table was an “asset” or a “liability.” Had I worked all these years to hook up with someone who was lazy and would live off my career earnings? Did he want kids, or should we just end dinner early and both be on our way? My dating life had become an emotional battlefield, and like most battlefields, it was war-torn and there was emotional wreckage. I was on edge, leading with a distrustful tone, and there was certainly nothing sexy or attractive about interrogation.