Author Archives: Hannah Grace

We probably all grew up with an expectation of what the perfect relationship would look like. Romantic movies, adverts on television, books and our own imaginations help to create the idea of the ideal partner and the model relationship. Couples that look like they have it so ‘together’. This can be heightened when single. It is hard when you first start dating someone and reality kicks in! You are excited, the butterflies start fluttering, you start thinking about the future and can be desperate to impress. But not every moment will be wonderful and we need to think about expectation vs reality. Even in small ways, expectations are not met, and hard conversations can be needed to make a successful, happy relationship. How can you balance your expectations and not let yourself be disappointed by reality?

A new year is a time for fresh starts, the hopeful possibilities of good that a new year can bring and sometimes new resolutions. There is an excitement and anticipation of what the new year can bring – a bubbling energy is expectant for what God has in store for you. A fresh year maybe to find a life partner? Meet someone new? How can you find your dating energy in the new year, especially if it feels like you’re starting yet another year of being single?

Winter was a time when I felt my singleness profoundly. It seemed the romance of Christmas was everywhere, with romantic Christmas movies, dates to Christmas markets and ice rinks, cosy hot chocolates and mistletoe – and I wasn’t included. Once the romance of Christmas was over, there was the pressure of New Year. All the resolutions, the desire to find a partner that very year, the realisation that another year would begin without a kiss at midnight. One question came up repeatedly: How could I find contentment in singleness during the festive season?

How often do we hear – or say – “I’m not going to change for anyone”, “I am who I am”, or “This is me and if you can’t deal with me, move on”? The idea of making changes to ourselves can feel like compromise – but should it? How does this work when dating – are we expected to change for someone? Should they change for us? Or can we remain exactly as we are, no matter what?

It’s possible to become a confident dater. It might take time, effort and practice, especially if you are an introvert, shy, or struggle in situations out of your comfort zone but it can be done. Dating has its highs and lows, and sometimes your confidence can be knocked, by a rejection, ghosting, or harsh words but it’s possible to bounce back.

When you start dating and later move into a relationship, your life will change and that means a change of mindset too. There must be a shift as you prepare your life for a new relationship – before and after you meet someone. Afterwards, there will be personal adjustments from both sides to make the shift work. The good news is there are simple things you can do to get ready for a new relationship while you are still single.

The dating world can be a lonely place, where we actually end up spending a lot of time wishing for a relationship and don’t embrace being single. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Wishing our lives were different can sometimes lead to discontentment and dissatisfaction. We can become insular and feel lonely but if we can change our attitude we can enjoy the time that we are single as it is a precious time between you and God without distractions. If we wait around to do certain things until we have a partner, we could be waiting a long time especially if God calls us to singleness! It also means that we miss out on many opportunities and exciting things in life, if we were only brave enough to do it ourselves. My advice to you would be to stop waiting, and to start doing!

Entertainment, social media and adverts all fuel our idea that romance should be relatively plain sailing. You search for a harmonious and happy relationship but you end up on a bumpy road with constant dating dramas instead of the joy and connection that you hoped for. Instead of a straightforward and stress-free path, the road you’re on has too many twists and turns. Knowing how to avoid dating dramas is the goal. The alternative can be draining, upsetting and exhausting, so how can you not let yourself get sucked into someone else’s tricky situations and how can you avoid being the person creating drama in your dating life?