Author Archives: Hannah Grace

Winter was a time when I felt my singleness profoundly. It seemed the romance of Christmas was everywhere, with romantic Christmas movies, dates to Christmas markets and ice rinks, cosy hot chocolates and mistletoe – and I wasn’t included. Once the romance of Christmas was over, there was the pressure of New Year. All the resolutions, the desire to find a partner that very year, the realisation that another year would begin without a kiss at midnight. One question came up repeatedly: How could I find contentment in singleness during the festive season?

How often do we hear – or say – “I’m not going to change for anyone”, “I am who I am”, or “This is me and if you can’t deal with me, move on”? The idea of making changes to ourselves can feel like compromise – but should it? How does this work when dating – are we expected to change for someone? Should they change for us? Or can we remain exactly as we are, no matter what?

It’s possible to become a confident dater. It might take time, effort and practice, especially if you are an introvert, shy, or struggle in situations out of your comfort zone but it can be done. Dating has its highs and lows, and sometimes your confidence can be knocked, by a rejection, ghosting, or harsh words but it’s possible to bounce back.

When you start dating and later move into a relationship, your life will change and that means a change of mindset too. There must be a shift as you prepare your life for a new relationship – before and after you meet someone. Afterwards, there will be personal adjustments from both sides to make the shift work. The good news is there are simple things you can do to get ready for a new relationship while you are still single.

The dating world can be a lonely place, where we actually end up spending a lot of time wishing for a relationship and don’t embrace being single. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Wishing our lives were different can sometimes lead to discontentment and dissatisfaction. We can become insular and feel lonely but if we can change our attitude we can enjoy the time that we are single as it is a precious time between you and God without distractions. If we wait around to do certain things until we have a partner, we could be waiting a long time especially if God calls us to singleness! It also means that we miss out on many opportunities and exciting things in life, if we were only brave enough to do it ourselves. My advice to you would be to stop waiting, and to start doing!

Entertainment, social media and adverts all fuel our idea that romance should be relatively plain sailing. You search for a harmonious and happy relationship but you end up on a bumpy road with constant dating dramas instead of the joy and connection that you hoped for. Instead of a straightforward and stress-free path, the road you’re on has too many twists and turns. Knowing how to avoid dating dramas is the goal. The alternative can be draining, upsetting and exhausting, so how can you not let yourself get sucked into someone else’s tricky situations and how can you avoid being the person creating drama in your dating life?

How you communicate is key to building trust, and trust is foundational to any relationship. Trust takes time to develop but can easily be lost in a second. It’s precious, valuable, to be treasured, protected and constantly built on. Without trust, a relationship falls apart – communication fails, insecurities creep in and it’s no longer just the two of you and God. Instead, it’s the two of you and doubt. Trust needs to be built from the very start of a relationship, be it friendship or romance.

Time is precious. 24 hours in a day can seem too little as we fill it with work, family, friends and hobbies. How easy it is to make time to date too? Trying to find time to spend with God seems to be a challenge, let alone start a relationship or online dating. When everything else already needs to be scheduled into our busy lives, how do we make time for getting to know someone new? It’s a balancing act, but God knew exactly how many hours we need in a day – we just need to make sure we use them wisely! So how can we make time to date when our lives are so busy?