Author Archives: Hannah Grace

One of my biggest fears when I was dating was silence. Awkward silence, running out of conversation, and the panic that then ensued filled me with such dread. I would combat it by either chatting a load of ‘twaddle’ to fill the silence, or panic so much that I could think of nothing to say. Chances are my verbal explosions or my clamming up put off a few people. I knew that the right one would be someone I wouldn’t run out of conversation with. It turned out to be true – five years later … we’re still conversing well! So what did I learn about how to have good conversations that brought out the best in me and the person I was meeting?

When you first start dating someone, they might seem almost perfect. In the first flush of love, that person appears to be exactly what you were looking for and it’s hard to imagine anything about them annoying you. Then you start to notice… maybe they chew loudly, pick their teeth after a meal, or spend hours scrolling on their phone. Perhaps these habits are on your list of non-negotiables when searching for love – or are suddenly added to the list! Or it might be that some annoying habits pop up early on and an otherwise interesting person is ruled out completely before you really get to know them. That can be part of a very natural selection process – one person’s annoyance is another person’s lovable quirk – but it could also damage a promising connection. So, what should you do?

Dating is great when you both know where you’re at and what you ‘are’. Boundaries can be set, and you know and agree where you’re headed. Although some people may not like the idea of labels or awkward conversations about if or when to commit, it does help to set in black and white the status of your relationship, which then manages expectations. But the period before getting to that point can sometimes be muddy. It’s similar to going on a long trip – you’ll check the road map to get an idea of the journey, but diversions and traffic jams can cause some unexpected disruptions.

When you’re both on the same wavelength and united in where a relationship is headed, it’s easier to plan the journey; you may both know you want to get married (maybe to each other!), you’re unified in what you’re after, so let’s make it ‘official’. But how do you reach the point where you can talk about it or be headed in the same direction? How do you know when to move to the next stage? How do you know when to commit?

Online dating has challenges as well as blessings, but what happens when you have unrequited feelings, when you like someone who doesn’t like you back? You find someone online who seems to be perfect, you build up excitement, you meet said person and they seem even better than hoped for, but then it’s like having a relationship with a brick wall. It can feel intense! Nancy Meyers put it well in romcom ‘The Holiday’: “And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert.” How can you move on from this?

Love has many forms in the Bible. We know of ‘Agape’, (God’s divine love), ‘Philia’ (brotherly love), and ‘Eros’ (erotic love), for example. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is probably the most popular scripture reading at weddings but its instructions can be used for all of these types of love, and more. You can also turn to these verses when you are looking for a romantic relationship and apply them to dating too.

‘New year, new me’. We hear this phrase so many times (and sometimes say it!) with New Year’s resolutions. We make health plans, fitness and life goals and, of course, dating ambitions – all ready to start at the stroke of midnight. The excitement and pressure build, the determination is there, but according to the US News and World report, 80% of the New Year’s resolutions fail by February. How are yours going so far?!

Dating during this past year has had unique challenges. We’ve all had to cope with isolation, whether single, newly dating or in a relationship. When I was single and waiting impatiently for God to show me the right man, I found I had many moments of loneliness, impatience, frustration and despair. Christmas accentuated it. Every Christmas, I would say “This is the year I meet my husband,” and for many years I was disappointed. But every year gave me time to prepare, reflect and grow closer to God.

The acting life can easily become all-consuming. Emotions flying everywhere – nerves before auditions and shows, not knowing if I’ll get the job or not, excitement on opening night, heartbreak when I’ve worked so hard for a job and then find out someone else got it! Having performed in shows like ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ on the London stage and ‘Mary Poppins’ internationally, I know it’s a rollercoaster, unpredictable, a whirlwind, and a joy.