Author Archives: HopefulGirl

‘This Christmas was a tough one for me,’ confided a friend. ‘Over the festive period, I was surrounded by nephews and nieces and my friends’ kids. I love spending time with them, but it reminded me just how much I’m missing out. I feel that God put a deep longing in me to be a parent, but I’m 39 now – what if I don’t meet someone in time? Can a single person adopt on their own – and is it fair on the children?’

‘I can’t believe it, HopefulGirl – I’ve been ghosted!’ said the Facebook message. ‘I’d been on six dates with this guy after meeting online. We were getting on well, we’d shared a few kisses, and it was all looking positive. Then, three weeks ago, he just… disappeared. He stopped getting in touch and didn’t answer emails and texts. I was worried something might have happened to him so I called a couple of times, but there was no response. Now I can see he’s active on the dating website again. I can’t believe he’d scarper without a word. Surely I deserve the courtesy of a goodbye… don’t I?’

‘I feel painfully deprived of hugs and physical affection,’ sighed a friend over lunch. ‘As a single Christian, it’s really tough to deal with. Hardly anyone touches me from one week to the next. It makes it difficult not to get drawn into inappropriate relationships, because I’m so desperate for someone to put their arms around me. If I don’t find a partner, I don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life.’

‘Someone gave me a prophetic word that my future husband lives in a particular city, that I must step out in faith to meet him, and that we’ll have children, which I long for,’ said the letter. ‘I’m very excited and I’m now planning to relocate. This will mean leaving my job and moving to a place where I don’t know anyone, but I want to be obedient and it’ll be worth it to meet the man God has planned for me.’

Crikey… what could possibly go wrong?!

‘I’d been chatting with someone online for a while, when suddenly his messages became very sexually explicit,’ said the email. ‘When I withdrew, he called me a coward. It was horrible to be insulted for not participating in inappropriate behaviour. To suddenly go from affectionate to sexually explicit is weird and creepy, and not what I expected on a Christian dating website.’

‘I’m dating a nice Christian guy who I like and respect,’ said the email (so far, so good – however, I hear a ‘but’ coming). ‘But…’ (there it is!) ‘I’m not physically attracted to him. I know there are more important things in a relationship, but shouldn’t there be some spark? Or as a Christian, does God expect me to be less shallow?’

‘I’d like to get out and meet more single believers in a low-pressure setting,’ said the email. ‘There are no Christian social groups in my area, so I thought I might start one myself. Do you have any advice, HopefulGirl?’

‘What’s the point, HopefulGirl?’ said the message. ‘I join a dating website, and no one gets in contact. I send messages and waves, but no one replies. Why am I wasting my time?’