Author Archives: HopefulGirl

‘I’m not getting much interest online,’ said the email. ‘HopefulGirl, would you look at my profile and tell me where I’m going wrong?’

I was happy to oblige. I’d chatted to this chap on my Facebook page and found him to be friendly, interesting and a sincere Christian (and nice looking for his age, if you’re wondering). I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t having much success – so I clicked through to his profile…

‘Why would any woman look at me, HopefulGirl?’ my pal asked, miserably. ‘I’m short, I’m balding, I’m carrying a few extra pounds, and I don’t earn much. I’ll never find love.’

‘Now I’ve turned 40, I think a lot of men on dating websites write me off,’ a reader told me. ‘Would it really be so bad to knock a few years off my age, just to get those initial meetings? It’s only a harmless fib, and I’d confess the truth as soon as I met someone.’

‘A nice Christian man is keen to start a relationship with me, and I like him too,’ said the email. ‘However, his wife, to whom he was happily married, only died a few months ago. I’m worried I’d just be a substitute for her. HopefulGirl, how soon do you think is too soon to start dating after being widowed?’

‘I’m not ready for a relationship yet, but I’m planning to join a Christian dating website to see what sort of women are out there,’ said the email. ‘My friends say it’s not on, but what’s the big deal? It’s okay to do a little window shopping, right, HopefulGirl?’

So, you’ve worked up the courage to ask someone on a date, and they’ve said: ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’ Or you’ve spent ages constructing the perfect email to someone on a dating website, and you don’t even get a reply. Being rejected is never fun. It can be painful and embarrassing, it can batter your confidence – it can even put you off approaching anyone ever again! But rejection is a fact of life in the dating world, so we need to find ways of dealing with it…

‘Advice on asking someone out is all very well, HopefulGirl,’ said the email, ‘but my concern is how to turn someone down kindly. I find it so painfully awkward, I now avoid becoming friendly with men, in case they ask me on a date and I have to decline.’

‘I’m no good at asking women out,’ said the email. ‘Nerves get the better of me and I’m either over-keen and scare them off, or I’m too casual and they think I’m not serious. How can I hit the right balance, HopefulGirl?’