Author Archives: Vicky Walker

As part of our 20th birthday year, Alistair and Heather share what has happened since they met on Christian Connection in 2011… “For us, the most important factor in meeting someone with whom we would potentially share the most intimate, private and special moments was that they would share our faith. For both of us, […]

If I happen to mention I write about faith and relationships, the questions flow. When to date. Who to marry. How to make good decisions. Even who to spend time with. Who, how, what, where, when. So many questions. And, of course, there’s a dizzying array of possible answers…

An hour of your time. That’s all it takes to ensure a rosy romantic future. Meet a stranger, look into their eyes, throw around a few words and glances, and wait for the chemical reaction. If you feel it – the frisson, the shudder, the flutter – rejoice! The foundation for a wonderful relationship is laid. If not, if there’s nothing there but another human staring back, with all their imperfections, it’s time to shrug and move on. Back to the drawing board. Back to trawling profile after profile. Back to the awkward opening messages and attempts at originality. It’ll be worth it though. Knowing that the next one could have it. Yes, it.

‘What do you do?’ doesn’t always fit well in Christian life. At any given time at least 47 per cent* of faithful souls will be – excuse me while I slip into basic Christianese – ‘in a season of transition’. We might be waiting on God / for breakthrough / tables while we wait for both God and breakthrough, and a simple answer can be elusive.

Calm yourself, dear reader, all is above board. By asking about your fantasy, I refer merely to the shadowy fairytale partner lurking in your subconscious. The one who comes into sharp focus whenever talk of coupling up happens. It’s possible you’ve made a list; all the qualities that you knew God was ‘laying on your heart’. The perfect combination of personality, character, faith, age, physical appearance, and so much more that meant you’d Just Know when they appeared in front of you. Or maybe the fantasy is so ingrained you’ve never analysed the details; you just know you haven’t met them yet. And until then life remains an assault course of wannabes, distractions and thanks-but-no-thanks blocking the path to true love.

Her sales pitch was unique, as was the man she was describing to her single-and-looking friend. “He’s such a lovely guy. Not the best looking, maybe, but there’s more to life than that, right? He’s kind, decent, very spiritual. No hair, as such… but, well, who needs hair? He’s kind of unusual, you might say – er, different. Quirky habits. Yes, looks older than his age but… I think you’d be a good match. I hope that’s not insulting. So… shall I introduce you to Josef?”

The human heart, who can know its mysterious ways? Perhaps you thought when you met The One (who definitely exists) everything would fall effortlessly into place. That you’d just know, and doubts, baggage, issues, fears, jumping in too fast, all of the icky stuff that had hindered previous encounters would fade out in a fanfare of bluebirds and confetti. Fire up the organ (so to speak) and get that wedding underway.

And yet… here we are.

I know, I know, you’re reading this because you’re on a dating site. Marriage isn’t imminent. You might, just maybe, have a coffee two weeks on Tuesday with the persistent waver who opened with ‘How r u, Shane? I like ur profile’ when your name is Sam. But that’s not the end goal. You would like to meet a partner, someone with whom you can share life’s ups and downs. You’re thinking ahead.