Dating & Relationship Advice

Connections didn’t stop during the pandemic. We’ve heard from couples who met, dated, got engaged and married through Christian Connection during lockdowns and we were thrilled we could help them connect. Looking at life post-pandemic – or with the pandemic factored in to more regular life – presents exciting opportunities as well as questions.

Remember Lot’s wife? The story in Genesis about the woman who looked back at a burning city and apparently became a ‘pillar of salt’? I’ve always felt sympathy for her. Who isn’t tempted to look back? And maybe even go back to the old and familiar?

But her story can be read as a psychological truth about life and relationships: looking back and revisiting a previous relationship can leave you stuck. While it’s true that sometimes old connections can be positively revisited — if the issue was bad timing, for example — it’s been my experience that new connections are the ones with more potential. But, why?

Three years ago, a friend died in her early fifties from cancer. It was sudden and a shock to us all, a shock that prompted many of us to re-evaluate our lives. We vowed to focus on the important things – our hopes, dreams and deepest longings – and to stop sweating the small stuff. I said I wanted to get a dog, something I’d been talking about for a decade or more. Another mutual friend said she wanted to travel the world. I met this same friend a few days ago and we noted that, three years on, I still hadn’t got a dog, although I’d begun my search in earnest, and she hadn’t travelled the world (or found a way to do so once the pandemic eases). It happens, doesn’t it?

Over the 20 years that we’ve been helping single Christians meet, we’ve seen what can help make meaningful connections. Whether you’re just starting out with online dating or wanting to refresh your dating efforts, here’s what we’ve learned about messaging that lead to dates, relationships and lasting connections.

When you’re talking to someone online it can sometimes be hard to tell if they might ‘like you’ like you or if they’re just being polite. It’s good to know if someone is interested in you romantically, so that you don’t waste your time or pin your hopes on something that isn’t leading anywhere. Here are 8 ways to know if someone likes you online.

Having a fulfilling social and dating life has been a bit challenging lately, hasn’t it? If you are anything like me you might be feeling slightly out of practice when it comes to interacting with new people. This is where being part of the online community gives you a great advantage. When face-to-face dates might not be possible or difficult to arrange, your screen means you can still meet new faces and chat, whether it’s via messaging, emails, phone calls, or video dates. Or maybe you’re able to meet in person, over a coffee or on a walk, and want to know how to develop your connection. Here are a few suggestions for early conversations with someone new.

It’s a saying as old as Shakespeare that the path of love doesn’t run smooth, and when it comes to online dating that can certainly seem true! No two couples who meet on Christian Connection have the same story. While some clicked straight away, many didn’t – and there’s lots to learn from their stories. What advice do those who found that meeting the person they went on to marry took time, stops and starts, and even a missed connection or two, have for daters?

There is a saying: ‘It was an overnight success after 20 years’ hard work.’ Sometimes dating can feel like that. Are things taking a bit longer than you thought? Sometimes you go through seasons of not getting messages or replies, or not going on dates. Maybe you begin to feel downhearted about this whole looking-for-love thing. Dating discouragement is real!