Dating & Relationship Advice

“A woman should never pay for a meal. Nor should she ever pick up the phone and call. He should always be the pursuer, no matter what. She should always wait on him to take the lead.”

I don’t think those were the exact words she used, but that was the intended message. I’ll never forget reading these words from one of my favorite authors. She was the godliest woman I knew (and by “knew” I mean I read every single one of her books!), but she was quite old fashioned and set in her ways when it came to male-female interaction.

According to my monthly polls at TrueLoveDates.com, most of my readers agree that the best thing to do on a first date is simply this: go out for a cup of coffee.

Aaaaahhhh, the coffee date. I love the coffee date, and not just because I love coffee. It’s the best kind of first date because it’s simple, casual, and low pressure. It’s a great environment to get to know someone, but best of all, it’s totally flexible.

‘I’m no good at asking women out,’ said the email. ‘Nerves get the better of me and I’m either over-keen and scare them off, or I’m too casual and they think I’m not serious. How can I hit the right balance, HopefulGirl?’

As far as finding love is concerned, it can feel like a jungle out there… or a desert… or a lottery (waiting in hope of our numbers coming up, unsure if we even have a ticket, or where we’re supposed to go to get one). It can be so confusing hearing patronising, ill informed or contradictory advice from well meaning friends, colleagues, relatives and church members; when what we really need is something we can relate to.

My friends Cris and Sam had been planning their home purchase for months, and finally, after looking at several houses, they found a lovely home that seemed like the perfect fit. They negotiated with the seller, signed a contract, and began making settlement plans. But first, they had to do the inspection.

Being a single Christian in today’s world continues to be increasingly difficult.
It hurts my heart every time I hear one of my single friends say, “I’m enjoying being single right now.” If we’re not careful, those words can be decrypted to mean “I’m enjoying my life of selfishness.” Part of the reason many people are choosing a life of singleness is because some singles ministries make being single fun and exciting. Commitment and intentionality are inadvertently being discouraged by increased opportunities to go on group dates and see members of the opposite sex without pursuit.

“Any advice on being a good man?” I was asked recently, the sweet but incorrect assumption being I have the answer to this little question simply on the basis of having written a book about being good. As a global expert in pretty much nothing, I say again: I only ask the question. But when it comes to romance, as in pretty much every area of life, I suspect it comes down to one thing: Do unto others. In other words… If you wouldn’t like it, don’t do it.

If I’d known these three things before I married, I would’ve been much better prepared.

When I was single, I regularly asked my married friends to share their advice on what it took to have a happy marriage. Almost every response was a variation of the same, foreboding theme: “Just remember this: Marriage is hard work.” That was it — no further explanation.