Dating & Relationship Advice

My friends Cris and Sam had been planning their home purchase for months, and finally, after looking at several houses, they found a lovely home that seemed like the perfect fit. They negotiated with the seller, signed a contract, and began making settlement plans. But first, they had to do the inspection.

Being a single Christian in today’s world continues to be increasingly difficult.
It hurts my heart every time I hear one of my single friends say, “I’m enjoying being single right now.” If we’re not careful, those words can be decrypted to mean “I’m enjoying my life of selfishness.” Part of the reason many people are choosing a life of singleness is because some singles ministries make being single fun and exciting. Commitment and intentionality are inadvertently being discouraged by increased opportunities to go on group dates and see members of the opposite sex without pursuit.

“Any advice on being a good man?” I was asked recently, the sweet but incorrect assumption being I have the answer to this little question simply on the basis of having written a book about being good. As a global expert in pretty much nothing, I say again: I only ask the question. But when it comes to romance, as in pretty much every area of life, I suspect it comes down to one thing: Do unto others. In other words… If you wouldn’t like it, don’t do it.

If I’d known these three things before I married, I would’ve been much better prepared.

When I was single, I regularly asked my married friends to share their advice on what it took to have a happy marriage. Almost every response was a variation of the same, foreboding theme: “Just remember this: Marriage is hard work.” That was it — no further explanation.

Soul mates.

We hear a lot about finding that person who was prepared by God. We call him or her our “soul mate.” You won’t actually have a soul mate until you’ve mated another soul. Once you’ve married, you have found your soul mate. Until then you are looking for the person you’d like to make your soul mate.

Myth: Counselling is just for people whose lives are falling apart or going through a crisis.

Myth: Going to counselling is an admission of failure or sign of weakness.

“I’m just about ready to throw in the towel, HopefulGirl” said the email. “I’ve been on the Christian dating scene for ages and I still haven’t met anyone. I’m exhausted, demoralised and losing hope.”

When I first joined a Christian dating website, I was convinced that within the year, God would guide me to my future husband. I was still on the scene several years later! When you’re putting in the effort and don’t feel like you’re making progress, it’s easy to become discouraged and give up. So here are my top seven tips for staying motivated and avoiding ‘dating fatigue’…

Some time ago I wrote a post about “why guys don’t ask girls out”. In writing that I slipped into the mistake common to a lot of what’s written about relationships. I wrote about generalisations, concepts; in focusing on the abstract I took the easy way out.

It’s the easy way out and it is the mentality of glossy magazines and trendy bloggers – we aggregate examples, form a trend and we look for a solution that can fit in a tweet.