Dating & Relationship Advice

How do we set ourselves up for dating success rather than dating disasters? How do we ensure that we make good choices in relationships and avoid hurting ourselves and others? For me, the key lies in healthy boundaries. There are many types of boundaries we can set with ourselves and others to ensure we stay emotionally and physically safe and avoid pain and hurt. But how do boundaries apply to dating and relationships?

Have you ever heard the saying “do your best and let God do the rest”? It is a popular saying and one that I think can be applied to dating. Sometimes we erroneously expect God to do all the work for us, and whilst God obviously leads and guides us, usually, when it comes to dating, we have some work to do ourselves. It might be as big as deciding to try something you haven’t tried before, or as small as saying yes to an invite to hang out with friends. But, whatever it may be, a single Christian seeking a relationship would need to take some definite steps.

Some days the idea of a casual coffee or sedate walk just isn’t going to make the cut for a date. Whether you’re naturally high energy or just fancy trying something different, embracing an energetic date idea or two can give you something to bond over and maybe find a new shared interest. If you enjoy an adrenaline-packed experience or are just feeling bored of the usual routine, doing something active together could be a great change, and it doesn’t have to be expensive – or risky!

Dating can be exciting and fun but if our journey to a happy, healthy relationship includes some unexpected bumps in the road or takes longer than we’d hoped, we can become disillusioned or downhearted. Here are four truths that will help you to continue to date with your head held high, with your self-esteem intact, with hope in your heart and with the certainty that God is on your side.

Meeting up for a date can be exciting just because you’re getting to spend time with someone interesting with romantic potential. But you shouldn’t feel pressure to make every occasion an extravaganza. Sometimes what you need are relaxing date ideas. As well as creating space for conversation to develop – or opportunities for comfortable silences – taking your time in a low key setting can help to deepen your connection too.

“Couples don’t need to have anything in common,” said a male character in a novel I read recently. “The man can go to his club in the evenings while the woman knits or watches television.” Contrast this with a real-life couple I read about who made a vow they would only have interests or friends or pastimes they both enjoyed. If one of them didn’t like whatever it was, the other would immediately give it up in case it interfered with their love. The first example gave me a good laugh and the second gave me claustrophobia. It also got me wondering: is having the same tastes as your partner relevant when it comes to relationships? What should you do about dating with different interests?

Prayer should be a key part of the life of a Christian, but sometimes we wrongly think we should only be praying about serious things or more ‘spiritual’ things, like world peace and salvation. However, the Bible talks about praying without continually, and praying about everything. And everything includes singleness and dating!

How can dating stay fresh? Instead of getting stuck in a rut, whether going on first dates or keeping dating alive in a long term relationship, look for date ideas with imagination. Doing the same old things, going to the same places, ordering the same takeaways, going on the same walks can be an easy habit to fall into – even if meeting someone for the first time and relying on an ‘old favourite’ instead of a new idea – but maybe it’s time to mix it up a bit! Give your dating life a refresh with some simple changes.