Dating & Relationship Advice

Whether you’re a super-organised planner or not quite so well-prepared, there will always be moments when spontaneity is called for. Dating is no different. Whether you’re working round cancelled plans or suddenly find you’re both free to meet, a last-minute date can be really fun and a great way to spend time with someone doing something unexpected. Their unplanned nature often brings a more relaxed feel and can be a nice, low-key way to spend time getting to know someone.

Before I met my husband, I had a list of what I wanted in the man I was to marry. He had to be God-fearing, loving and kind, hardworking, patient. You know, the usual stuff. He had to be attractive – to me at least (I strongly believe that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and had to be taller than me (I’m not tall). I wouldn’t say I had many superficial things on my list at all, but I remember when I started online dating and seeing some profiles – there were some good-looking men I couldn’t help but notice! I thought to myself, “If this is what the online dating scene is offering, I’m here for all of it!” It was only when I waved to one or two of them and got no response (this sometimes happens, don’t worry if it happens to you) that I realised that there were probably hundreds of women like me doing the same thing: reaching out to the same attractive men that we thought fitted the bill of what we wanted in a mate…

How often do we hear – or say – “I’m not going to change for anyone”, “I am who I am”, or “This is me and if you can’t deal with me, move on”? The idea of making changes to ourselves can feel like compromise – but should it? How does this work when dating – are we expected to change for someone? Should they change for us? Or can we remain exactly as we are, no matter what?

Have you read Bridget Jones’s Diary or watched the film of the same name? The fictional dating adventures and misadventures of a thirtysomething single woman in London were a big hit when they first appeared. Later this year I will turn 32 – the same age as Bridget Jones at the start of her adventures in the movie, originally released in 1999. I watch the film as often as I can but in the last 18 months or so, but the reality she and I will be age twins has begun to freak me out. So, with our age now in common, what has Bridget Jones taught me about being a single Christian woman?

When we’re looking for someone to love, it’s only natural to go dating with a picture in our minds of the person we want to be with, but what if this picture is sabotaging our chances of meeting the partner who’s right for us?

When you meet someone new, the chances are, they are going to be quite different from you. They may be from a completely different town or city, or part of the world! Having shared interests in a relationship with helps to build connection and is a perfect way to spend quality time together. So, what are some of the simple ways of developing shared interests as a couple?

It’s possible to become a confident dater. It might take time, effort and practice, especially if you are an introvert, shy, or struggle in situations out of your comfort zone but it can be done. Dating has its highs and lows, and sometimes your confidence can be knocked, by a rejection, ghosting, or harsh words but it’s possible to bounce back.

Wanting to make good first (or second or third) impression when you meet for a date is an understandable goal. Sometimes your budget makes that tricky. If your wallet needs a rest, it doesn’t mean you can’t have an enjoyable date that’s memorable for all the right reasons. If you’re prepared to be creative, here are more free date ideas you can explore together. Some will even add to your skills as you go!