Dating & Relationship Advice

How often do we hear – or say – “I’m not going to change for anyone”, “I am who I am”, or “This is me and if you can’t deal with me, move on”? The idea of making changes to ourselves can feel like compromise – but should it? How does this work when dating – are we expected to change for someone? Should they change for us? Or can we remain exactly as we are, no matter what?

Have you read Bridget Jones’s Diary or watched the film of the same name? The fictional dating adventures and misadventures of a thirtysomething single woman in London were a big hit when they first appeared. Later this year I will turn 32 – the same age as Bridget Jones at the start of her adventures in the movie, originally released in 1999. I watch the film as often as I can but in the last 18 months or so, but the reality she and I will be age twins has begun to freak me out. So, with our age now in common, what has Bridget Jones taught me about being a single Christian woman?

When we’re looking for someone to love, it’s only natural to go dating with a picture in our minds of the person we want to be with, but what if this picture is sabotaging our chances of meeting the partner who’s right for us?

When you meet someone new, the chances are, they are going to be quite different from you. They may be from a completely different town or city, or part of the world! Having shared interests in a relationship with helps to build connection and is a perfect way to spend quality time together. So, what are some of the simple ways of developing shared interests as a couple?

It’s possible to become a confident dater. It might take time, effort and practice, especially if you are an introvert, shy, or struggle in situations out of your comfort zone but it can be done. Dating has its highs and lows, and sometimes your confidence can be knocked, by a rejection, ghosting, or harsh words but it’s possible to bounce back.

Wanting to make good first (or second or third) impression when you meet for a date is an understandable goal. Sometimes your budget makes that tricky. If your wallet needs a rest, it doesn’t mean you can’t have an enjoyable date that’s memorable for all the right reasons. If you’re prepared to be creative, here are more free date ideas you can explore together. Some will even add to your skills as you go!

In the early stages of dating, it’s natural to want every time you meet to be special. Thankfully, special doesn’t have to mean expensive. Often what’s needed instead is some imagination and a little creativity. As a relationship develops, it’s good to add some variety into your quality time, too, and introducing more cheap date ideas can help keep things fun and interesting. Rather than worry about breaking the bank, look at how you can bond without exceeding your dating budget.

There’s a practice I’m trying to follow right now to take care of my health and wellbeing. It’s called substituting and the idea is that before adding something new into my life – an activity, a hobby or any sort of commitment – I must first let go of something that requires a similar amount of energy, time and space. I believe this holds true for love too. Looking back over my romantic history, there were so many things I had to let go of or give up in order to make space for love and create the right conditions for a healthy relationship. Here are five of those things.