Dating & Relationships

After the first meet ups with someone new have gone well you might start thinking about introducing your date to friends – or even start double or group dating. It can be rather daunting for everyone involved! You both want to make a good impression on your friends and get the valued ‘seal of approval’ all round. I gave my now-husband a baptism of fire after we got together – the cast of the musical tour I was performing in desperately wanted to meet him and surrounded him at stage door very early on in our relationship. For my introverted husband this was completely out of his comfort zone, but he knew how much it meant to me. He totally embraced the occasion and came through with flying colours! Meeting the people who matter to you won’t always be so intense – thankfully! – but how can you make introducing your partner to friends or going on double dates as fun and relaxing as possible?

If love knocked on your door, would you fling the door open and welcome it in with open arms, would you peer at it suspiciously through the letterbox, or somewhere in between? I ask because I know from experience that looking for love and being ready for love are two different things. We may be dating online, sending messages and meeting for coffee, but we may be doing so with walls of steel around our heart. So how do you unlock your heart and prepare for love?

“Hello there. My name is Chloe and we met on Christian Connection. I’d like to share our story with you. My friend met her husband on the website as well. I am in my 30s, and had a free week with the website. I worked at a boarding hostel, in Dunedin. I came home one day to see who was on. Saw this breakdancer photo of Andrei, and we got chatting. I am a dancer and I loved the shot from the Oriental bay here in Wellington. I decided to give him a wave, well I didn’t just give him one wave I gave him 10. Just in case he didn’t get my first one.

One of my biggest fears when I was dating was silence. Awkward silence, running out of conversation, and the panic that then ensued filled me with such dread. I would combat it by either chatting a load of ‘twaddle’ to fill the silence, or panic so much that I could think of nothing to say. Chances are my verbal explosions or my clamming up put off a few people. I knew that the right one would be someone I wouldn’t run out of conversation with. It turned out to be true – five years later … we’re still conversing well! So what did I learn about how to have good conversations that brought out the best in me and the person I was meeting?

I spent some of my late thirties and early forties feeling depressed. There were a few reasons for this. I was single, childless and living alone at a time when I always imagined I’d be happily married with a couple of kids. My life hadn’t gone to plan and I couldn’t understand why. But my depression had another source: I wasn’t living an authentic life.

Not so long ago, Going On A Date used to be a simple matter of choosing which café, pub, restaurant or film to go to. The list of options was limited, even if the company was the main attraction so it didn’t matter too much. While I love doing all these things, what strikes me these days is how much more opportunity there is to have varied and original experiences involving trying something new with no shortage of fun or quirky date ideas.
Meeting up is happening again and there’s lots to try and interesting things to invite someone to join you at. The good news is that the hospitality industry is super-keen to encourage business so there might be special deals on offer too. Here are six fun date ideas to try.

When you first start dating someone, they might seem almost perfect. In the first flush of love, that person appears to be exactly what you were looking for and it’s hard to imagine anything about them annoying you. Then you start to notice… maybe they chew loudly, pick their teeth after a meal, or spend hours scrolling on their phone. Perhaps these habits are on your list of non-negotiables when searching for love – or are suddenly added to the list! Or it might be that some annoying habits pop up early on and an otherwise interesting person is ruled out completely before you really get to know them. That can be part of a very natural selection process – one person’s annoyance is another person’s lovable quirk – but it could also damage a promising connection. So, what should you do?

Relationships, whether in the early ‘butterflies in the stomach’ phase, or twenty years down the line all require some effort to keep things exciting. Perhaps you’re just getting to know someone, and you don’t know if it will lead to your happily ever after, or you’re seeing someone exclusively and wondering how you can keep things ticking along nicely. Or you may be reading this and are just hoping for that someone to develop a spark with. Here are five fun tips on keeping the spark in a relationship.