Faith

As another year (and decade) comes to a close, we look back at the most popular articles of 2019.

Christmas is here, and soon it’ll be New Year’s Eve! Shopping, carol services, Christmas lights, mulled wine and maybe the occasional party. For some singles, the festive season conjures up feelings of joy and thoughts of cosy nights in. For others, it comes with some trepidation; another family get-together with the same old questions – ‘What’s new with you?’, ‘Dating anyone?’ And of course, the classic ‘When are you getting married?’

As we hurtle towards Christmas at break-neck speed, I’d like to invite you to slow down for a moment and to connect with your feelings. What’s going on inside? Does this time of year stir particular emotions in you? Do you feel joy and hope, or do you feel a lack of love and a […]

Christmas is rushing towards us at high speed, and this is a time of year when it can feel particularly tough to be single. While other people are (we imagine) revelling in the joys of family festivities and cosy romantic moments (not helped by those Christmas movies – thanks, Love, Actually), singles may be feeling extra lonely and sad that life hasn’t (yet) worked out how they’d hoped.

“What I was looking for back then isn’t what I’m looking for now”, a 40-something coaching client said recently as she updated me on her dating progress. So true, I thought. As we mature, our wants, needs, hopes and dreams change.

If I happen to mention I write about faith and relationships, the questions flow. When to date. Who to marry. How to make good decisions. Even who to spend time with. Who, how, what, where, when. So many questions. And, of course, there’s a dizzying array of possible answers…

The other day I finally got around to watching Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s brilliant TedX talk on that a friend recommended to me ages ago. In it Chimamanda talks about equal partnership between men and women. Midway through her talk, she refers to the different standards especially in dating and marriage when it comes to men and women. Where women are sometimes rebuked or dismissed as failures when they haven’t married before a certain age, men are usually simply excused as ‘he just hadn’t had time yet’.

The best thing about online dating is the amazing number and variety of people you get to meet with a click. Sometimes, that’s also the worst thing.