Happiness

Last night my husband and I watched Shrek, again. I think we’ve seen it every year since we’re together and we both have seen it a few more times before. So let’s say it was the seventh time I’ve seen it but again I sang the opening song loudly, and again I laughed at Shrek’s ‘Ogres are like onions. Onions have layers, you know’. And at Donkey’s famous words ‘I think I need a hug…’ And again I awed over the final love declaration in the end. But it isn’t your regular Hollywood happily ever after romcom.

Ah…the holidays are upon us. Christmas shopping, carol services, Christmas lights, wintry nights and mulled wine. For some singles, the festive season conjures up feelings of joy and thoughts of cosy nights by the fireplace. For others, it comes with some trepidation; another family get-together where you’ll be asked the same old questions- ‘What’s new with you?’, ‘Dating anyone?’ And of course, the classic ‘When are you getting married?’.

Christmas, for many of us, is a mixed bag. There’s tinsel, sparkle, Christmas parties and Ho, ho, ho. But there can be disappointment, loneliness, grief and loss too.

Whether you love Christmas and New Year and are super excited at the prospect of Yuletide cheer, or whether you dread advent looming on the calendar, you’ll be glad to know there’s plenty of ways in which this period is actually a good time to be single. It’s known as the season to be jolly but read on to find out how this is also the season of hope and opportunity.

‘This is my second Christmas since my divorce – which, by the way, I didn’t want,’ said one of my readers. ‘It’s also the first Christmas when my children will be spending the day with their father and his girlfriend. I’m absolutely dreading it – I don’t know what to do with myself. How do people get through this?’

Earlier this year, I got invited to speak at a conference. It was related to my job and various experts in the field had been invited to speak. I was honoured but didn’t feel I had the credentials or qualifications to speak to so many experienced people and experts in the business. But, I knew it was a great opportunity, so I said yes. A few weeks before the event, however, I developed cold feet and seriously considered pulling out. But, I decided to see it as an opportunity God had placed before me, so I went for it. And guess what- it went brilliantly and I’m so glad that I did!

I am happily married and have been for almost *drum roll* one year! After this (almost) milestone in marriage, there are a few things I’ve come to realise that marriage will not do for me. Thankfully, I knew some of these before I got married, but the past few months have highlighted the rest. Here are five things marriage will not do for you.

I’m 32 and have never been kissed – and I have a message for all my single friends.