Ah…the holidays are upon us. Christmas shopping, carol services, Christmas lights, wintry nights and mulled wine. For some singles, the festive season conjures up feelings of joy and thoughts of cosy nights by the fireplace. For others, it comes with some trepidation; another family get-together where you’ll be asked the same old questions- ‘What’s new with you?’, ‘Dating anyone?’ And of course, the classic ‘When are you getting married?’.

Whether you love Christmas and New Year and are super excited at the prospect of Yuletide cheer, or whether you dread advent looming on the calendar, you’ll be glad to know there’s plenty of ways in which this period is actually a good time to be single. It’s known as the season to be jolly but read on to find out how this is also the season of hope and opportunity.

‘This is my second Christmas since my divorce – which, by the way, I didn’t want,’ said one of my readers. ‘It’s also the first Christmas when my children will be spending the day with their father and his girlfriend. I’m absolutely dreading it – I don’t know what to do with myself. How do people get through this?’

The man or woman you think you want to spend your life with might not be the partner you actually need. I’ve learned this from my own experience and from chatting to others whose husband, wife or partner is nothing like the person they expected to end up with.

‘As a Christian, pornography disgusts me,’ said the email. ‘But I admit I quite enjoy reading sexy scenes in romantic books. I’ve even bought a book of erotic short stories. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but my boyfriend insists it’s “porn for women” and no different to him watching pornography. Has he got a point?’

‘Porn isn’t just a problem for men,’ said the email. ‘I’m female and I admit I sometimes look at porn. I don’t like myself much for it, but it’s so commonplace. Is it really such a big deal?’

I’m 32 and have never been kissed – and I have a message for all my single friends.

Once, I had a dream. Of finding love, and getting married, and having a family. Of cooking meals in a kitchen full of children, and building traditions, and holding hands through the hard times. Of growing old together, and enjoying grandchildren, and kissing each other goodbye as we left this world for something better.