When I was on tour during my work as an actor and travelling around the country, I had to do a lot of ‘church hopping’. I would try out different churches in each venue to maintain some sort of fellowship. It was a wonderful chance to try out different styles of worship, meet new people and find out more about the local area. But I was very much single during this time – and being a first time church visitor as a single person can be daunting, isolating and nerve wracking. So, what did I learn that could help?

If you’ve been single in church for a while, you may have noticed that a lot of churches don’t really know what to do with single people. Perhaps you’ve struggled to relate to a sermon, or sat patiently through a 10 minute anecdote about the preacher’s happy family. Maybe you’ve started attending a new church and no one has come to say hello. Maybe you’re just wondering where you fit in. It’s no new fact that many churches tend to focus on couples and families, and single people report feeling overlooked, misunderstood and even unwelcome. The good news is that change is possible – and it can start with us! As an individual, here are a few things you can do to help your church become more single friendly, better welcome and include single people.

Prayer should be a key part of the life of a Christian, but sometimes we wrongly think we should only be praying about serious things or more ‘spiritual’ things, like world peace and salvation. However, the Bible talks about praying without continually, and praying about everything. And everything includes singleness and dating!

When I ask people to list the qualities they’re looking for in a partner, they often say they’d like to find someone who’s living a full life, someone who has good friendships, interesting hobbies and dreams for the future. How do we find that person? First, we become that person ourselves.

There’s only so much “It’ll happen at the right time”, “You just haven’t met the one”, “Don’t give up”, or “God’s timing is perfect” you can take before it starts to get old! The worst is “Why are you still single, you’re such a good catch?” – the most infuriating question that used to sting me when I got asked, kicking me when I was down. How can you remain godly in your search for a Christian, staying true to what the Bible says about looking for a Christian partner, without compromising when you want to pack it all in, throw in the towel and stop the feelings of loneliness?

As we go through Easter this year, let’s take time to reflect on what it means. For example, have you ever wondered why we call Good Friday “good,” when it is such a dark and bleak event commemorating a day of suffering and death for Jesus? For Christians, Good Friday is a crucial day of the year because it celebrates what we believe to be the most momentous three days in the history of the world. Ever since Jesus died and rose, Christians have proclaimed his death and resurrection as the decisive turning point for all creation. What hope does that bring us today?

We all know that it is important to be grateful and as Christians, showing gratitude should be a way of life. But what happens when you’re struggling to find things to be grateful for? Perhaps you’ve been praying for a husband or wife and it seems like God doesn’t hear you? Or you’ve tried dating and it’s just not worked out? How can you develop gratitude about singleness in your life?

Valentine’s day is round the corner – yay! Or not. If you’re one of those that dreads lover’s day, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Valentine’s day can be an unwelcome reminder that you’re single, or even if you’re in a relationship, that your relationship doesn’t quite measure up to the ideals portrayed on TV or social media. But Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be intimidating, or a cause for worry. It is a celebration of love, after all, and I want to share with you five inviting ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day, no matter your relationship status.