Take a moment now to think about the past year. What did you learn about yourself in 2020? What challenges did you face? How did you overcome those challenges? Did you take any risks and if so, what was the outcome? When were you at your happiest? What were your dreams? If you could relive the year, what would you do differently? The answers to these questions will help to guide you in 2021.

It’s been a trying year, devastating for some, so as Christmas approaches, how can we end it with gratitude, whatever our circumstances? I confess that I don’t react well when I’m in an emotionally bleak or dissatisfied place and friends suggest that I write a gratitude list or think of things to be thankful for. But that’s my first response. Then I calm down, take the suggestion on board, take out pen and paper and do exactly that. I write down 10 things I’m grateful for and most of the time, it works. Something shifts. And I often end up with many more than 10 things on my list.

Whenever I prepared for a date, I was nervous (of course) and excited (sometimes!) but I would get very anxious about certain areas of how the date would go. Would I run out of conversation? Would it be awkward? What if he tried to kiss me? My brain would go on overdrive and I would often consider backing out so I wouldn’t have to deal with the uncertainty.

The desire for marriage is a good thing but what does one do when you’re waiting for marriage to happen? How can you enjoy singleness, even though you have a vision of marriage at some point in your future? Here are four important points I think will help, based on my own experience:

When you were a kid did you ever sing that song “The wise man built his house upon the rock”? It’s the one with the disco actions that most Christian children’s songs were given. It may be a simple tune that was sung in countless assemblies and Sunday School gatherings, but the truth of building our lives on the solid foundation of Jesus is one that can radically change our lives.

‘To everything there is a season,’ the classic Sixties rock number goes (though the Bible got there first in Ecclesiastes 3), and so it is with your dating life. There will be times of fallowness, like winter, when romantic life appears dormant. Don’t be discouraged. During winter a lot happens below the surface so that new life takes root and then blossoms into relationship possibilities when spring comes. Here are some suggestions for making a fallow time fruitful.

For many of us around the globe, 2020 hasn’t gone to plan. Perhaps we’d hoped to be further along our dating journey by this point, but coronavirus has derailed our dreams. The good news is we have almost half of 2020 left. So why not use this point to create a positive vision for the second half of the year and to get clarity on your next steps to a fulfilling relationship?

Dating can be tricky at the best of times. We may struggle to meet compatible people or fledgling relationships may fail again and again, leaving us back at square one. Add in huge challenges such as the coronavirus, which has led to social distancing in many parts of the world, and we might be tempted to throw in the towel. So how do we hold on to hope?