Music and dating: Why music should play a part in your dating life
Have you ever tried watching a movie without the score playing? It’s empty, dry and just not the same. The sweeping violins, gentle flute and tinkling piano of a romantic film all help to create an atmosphere and take you on a journey. Music is a language in itself. It’s personal, inspiring and sentimental. It’s a wonderful time traveller, creating and sparking memories. Most importantly in dating, it’s something to bond over: music and dating go together! My husband is a musician and a talented composer – funnily enough, I fell in love with his music before I even met him on Christian Connection. He even composed a theme for me that we walked down the aisle to at our wedding. Music can add so much to your dating life!
It can have such a profound effect on our lives and our relationships. How can you combine music and dating?
Music can be exciting!
How many times do we get ready for a date and try to psych ourselves up with exciting music blaring out, or maybe calm, relaxing music to quench the nerves? Music can literally help us deal with nerves.
For me as a single person, dancing around and singing into a hairbrush, or hearing a piece of music with a good upbeat sound, was a great way to shake out the nerves and pump myself up, ready to potentially meet the love of my life.
Music can be calming
Listening to gentle music on the journey to a date can help calm and focus the mind. Worship music can be a good choice – directing our thoughts towards God, giving Him the glory so that He can direct your path.
Listening to worship music solo, with God making sure your heart is prepared and protected, helps to remind you that He is your focus and your number one.
Listening together, when you get to know someone on a deeper level, can help create an intimate moment between the two of you and God, putting Christ at the centre of your relationship.
Knowing that God is in control and He has the best plans for you should make you want to praise Him!
Music can create memories
Music can help you create your own memories, songs and timeline. The song that was playing when you first met for coffee? The score of the movie you saw on your second date? The busker playing in the street when you walked and talked – or even when shared your first kiss?
Music becomes deeply personal. The further along you get with dating, the more memories and songs you will have together that mean something to you. How many couples have a song that means something to them both for their first wedding dance? Music is emotive and connects you both – it’s a moment that you share.
Whatever stage of dating you are at – whether meeting for the first time or establishing a growing connection – lock in some music that means something to you for that time. Relistening to it you will be transported back to that time and place, and all the feelings associated with it.
Music can create conversation
Music is a great conversation starter. Added to your dating profile, it can spark a fun opening message and lead into more chat.
Hannah and her husband Jonny on their wedding day
One of the questions that often gets asked on a first date is ‘what sort of music do you like?’ It’s a very personal thing. I bonded very early on with my husband, as we had very similar tastes in music (film scores and worship music!). It may be a simple question, but it could make or break a date. Quite frankly, I honestly don’t think I could be with someone who was into heavy metal, as I couldn’t bear to listen to it!
As you get to know someone, music can engage you in discussion, in hobbies, in dates, and in new experiences. Music is a great way to keep you both listening to each other and talking to each other, keeping you off the phones (unless you’re sharing a song!) and focused on the moment, and using your senses.
Music can be something we listen to in order to set a mood – to relax, or as background music to get ready for something exciting. Sometimes it is to be appreciated and given full attention to, and sometimes to sing along to!
Through music you can share your passions as you talk about your favourite artists, the latest songs, the soundtrack to a film or show, and how it made you feel. If your musical tastes aren’t the same, expect it to be lively!
God has given us music as a blessing and a gift. He created these beautiful sounds for us to enjoy and to share. We can use music for Him by worshipping, and doing that together can be a really intimate thing to do. One of the times I feel most connected with my husband is when we use music – when we worship together, (be it leading worship at church, worshipping at home or creating worship songs), or when we play our instruments together or write music. It is incredibly bonding. The world would be a much emptier place without music.
God is so good in giving us the beauty of melodies and that sensation for our ears and our hearts. Why not share it together in some way on a date to appreciate the gift God has given?
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